Although what do you do with
the person you are enabling after you realize this?
Options……
You do have them, and exercising them would be your
immanent next step. You can express you displeasure that
these behaviors have gone unnoticed for too long and that
it is detrimentally affecting the relationship, so it therefore
must stop!
Moreover, you can verbalize this in a heart to heart
discussion, and in understanding the need for your personal
mental health, give them an overdue ultimatum.
Separating yourself from this environment should be
indicated if: You receive a flat-out no in your attempts to
let them know that the enabling is going to discontinue and
their behavior is, also. If they refuse to receive any type of
treatment for their problems or addictions. If the effect of
their negative behavior is obviously polluting any children.
Note: When children are in the picture, normal and
unaffected, much thought must be given before breaking up
their home and often should be put off until they leave the
comforts of home.
This may sound like living in an internal prison, however,
the health of any child must be paramount! A sacrifice for
the betterment of any children cannot be overstated.
In addition, it would inevitably yield the relationship more
time to mend, as you continue your attempts to work on
eliminating your enabling, and assisting your partner?s
problematic behaviors to discontinue.
The main point to understand is that enabling someone to
cyclically delve into their poor behaviors and addictions
must be recognized with your own clarity and logic; then
immediately discontinued in order for you and your
relationship to maintain it?s health.
So ask yourself, is enabling worth it?….Undoubtedly you
will come to the realization, it is most definitely not.
Brian Maloney – http://ValuePrep.com
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